Assistant Principal - Pastoral Care

“A teenager’s brain is only about 80 percent developed,” says Gurinder Dabhia, MD, a pediatrician at Scripps Clinic Rancho Bernardo. “Teens have extra unconnected synapses in the area where risk-assessment occurs, and this gets in the way of judgement. In addition, the prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped, which makes teens more sensitive to peer pressure and risky, impulsive behavior.”

The concept of peer pressure in adolescents, over time, has tended to have negative connotations. When in fact influence from our peers may also present itself in a manner that helps us to grow and thrive. At times, our young people may need guidance in choosing their peers as they navigate through these formative years.

Peer influence is when we choose to do something we wouldn’t otherwise do, because we want to feel accepted and valued by our friends. It isn’t just or always about doing something against our will.

We might hear the term ‘peer pressure’ used a lot. But peer influence is a better way to describe how teenagers’ behaviour is shaped by wanting to feel they belong to a group of friends or peers.

Peer pressure and influence can be positive. For example, our young people might be influenced to become more assertive, try new activities or get more involved with school.

It’s normal to worry that our children are being influenced too much by their peers, or that they’re compromising on their values (or ours) to fit in with their friends. It’s also normal to worry that our child won’t be able to say no if they get pressure to try risky things, like truancy or vaping. But listening to the same music and dressing in the same way as friends doesn’t necessarily mean that your child will also do antisocial or risky things.

If your child is happy with who they are and their choices and values, they’re less likely to be influenced by other people. Your child might choose to do some things that their friends do, but not others. And your influence is important here – it’s the biggest factor shaping your child’s values and long-term choices. This is closely related to my last newsletter where I discussed the need to keep communication lines open.

As a parent, the rules really aren’t that different from when your child was a toddler:

• *Keep a good watch over them
• *Communicate when they’re entering a danger zone
• *Intervene when necessary, especially if their physical and mental health are at stake.

It’s important to remember that peer influence and pressure is a normal part of adolescence. As your child starts moving away from the parent-child relationship and seeking their own independence and identity, their peers will become more important to them. 

While peer pressure can be difficult, it isn't always a bad thing. Positive peer pressure can be a valuable part of learning how to socialise and even growing as a person. The type of peer pressure your child is experiencing depends on the peer group they socialise with as well as the larger social groups they interact with, both in person and online.

Until next time: